Hi, friends. I’m back. I hope you’ll join me back in this place of vulnerability and sharing.
It always seems as though with the changes of fall, there are changes in life with it and a sense in the air to be a little bolder. I last wrote at the beginning of summer (and lemme tell ya, summer was crazy!), and a lot has happened since then.
To recap this past summer- I got to be a leader on our church youth group’s trip to Summer Camp, helped direct our church Vacation Bible School, took a mini-vacation to the beach, and learned that I can open my heart to another man again. See: told ya it was a litte crazy .
For as far back as I can remember, Fall has been my favorite season. Fall brought cheerleading competitions, Friday night football, my birthday, crisp mornings and the leaves changing colors. My happy place has always been Fall. Now that I no longer experience cheerleading competitions, Friday night football, and birthdays just mean I’m getting closer and closer to 30… I’ve struggled to find my happy place in Fall again.
The Lord threw me some curveballs this Fall though.
October just so happens to also be Breast Cancer Awareness month, and I find it no coincidence that what I’m about to explain happened this month, the month where every year I honor my Grandmother and her fight against breast cancer.
Several weeks ago, I noticed a BB-gun pellet sized ‘lump.’ I’m educated in breast cancer so I knew the possibilities and I knew that my chances of developing breast cancer in my was lifetime higher than normal. Sometimes, though, knowledge doesn’t always help because I was freaking out. A few people knew, along with my Mom, but last night I finally called and told my person: my best friend of 21 years, Morgan.
Telling her kind of made it real, because she’s the person that has always been by my side in everything I’ve done. I called and told her, “I’ve found something. I’m not sure what it is, but I’m going to ask my doctor about it tomorrow.” I think the Lord was waiting on me to tell her, to be bold enough to tell my best friend that the biggest fear I have, might be coming true. He spoke through her and told me to not worry until we know something and that we’ll make an action plan based on whatever happens at the doctor’s office. And as always, she reminded me that she would be there, along for the ride, no matter what.
A couple of weeks ago, I was in NC with my best friend from college and we went to her church on Sunday morning. The pastor challenged us to pray bold prayers, believing that the Lord is powerful enough to answer those bold prayers. Let me tell you: the Lord is still in the miracle-making business, y’all.
My doctor’s appointment was at 9AM. I told her at the beginning that I had a place to check out. Welp. I looked crazy because you know what: I couldn’t find the lump. It really was not there. 12 hours earlier, I laid in bed and felt it and prayed a bold prayer that He would give me strength no matter what happened, no matter the next steps and final results. Because honestly, I wasn’t sure how I would handle it. And then it wasn’t there. I still can’t find it, still don’t feel it. It’s gone.
The wave of emotion when you realize that the Lord answers your bold prayer in a bold way, it washes over you like a flood. I never expected a miracle like this in my life. Like a lot of people, I’ve never felt worthy enough of the Lord’s power. I committed a ‘bad’ sin too many times, or I ran away from Him one time too many, and just a feeling of unworthiness. But then, He is Lord and His perfect love doesn’t change from one of His children to the next.
Ephesians 4:7 says “but to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift.” This verse is a reminder that the grace He gives us will always be according the measure of His gift: being crucified and defeating death to offer us salvation. I mean, when you think about that, and the fact that He did that for every person ever created, making a tiny lump disappear is just a whisper of His grace.
What’s your whisper of grace? Or ‘scream’ of grace? Share your story in the comments, lets celebrate the boldness of prayer and the power of the Lord.