Last year broke me.
I was completely broken. My future plans, my life as I knew it, it all changed. I’ve always been the type to fear change. I mean, I would cry when my parents would sell cars when I was a kid because it was what I knew and the change scared me. I’ve always been the one in my family to stick to my guns about our traditions. I like to have constants in my life.
When two big constants in my life changed, it broke me. I battled depression, anger, confusion, and fear. But what I didn’t know at the time, was that God had allowed me to be broken so that He could put me back together.
My goal for 2017 is to find God’s truth in my life. To find God’s truth in what I’ve been through, in what my family’s been through. The first couple of months of the year so far have revealed to me a lot of things and one of those is why God needed to put me back together.
My entire life I’ve known that I wanted to be a wife, be a Mom, to have my own family. My friends have found their soul mates. They’ve gotten married, are having babies. It seemed every day there was a new engagement or baby announcement on my social media feed. Well, I thought I was ready for that. I thought I had found that. I had the best examples of a wife, a mom, and a marriage in my parents and my grandparents so I thought I was ready for it all. But I wasn’t, I hadn’t found it, and I wasn’t ready. God allowed for me to be broken to show me that. He allowed me to be broken to show me that He still had work to do in me before He gives me His best for me. He’s putting me back together for the man, the family, the future He has for me.
So for now I will seek His truth in these questions: who is God putting me back together for and what is He putting me back together for? One day, I’ll hear His whisper of grace when He says “that’s him” or “this is it.”
I know it has been awhile since I last posted, but life as been pretty crazy and I’ve been living it. I’ve reveled in the Lord’s faithfulness and His mercies. Thanks for reading and always remember to listen for those whispers of grace.